catfish 2026

 Hello, I am Jean Pierre. I am trying to find a good and reliable person to execute a perfect crime together. I am first going to tell a bit more about mysel. I have blue eyes, brown hair and I am very fit. I go often to the gym so that's why I have got big muscles. I am also very smart and I love doing sports. I am very moody though. I think that that's the only bad thing about myself. There are three thing I am looking for in my partner in crime. Firstly, I don't really care if is a man or a woman, but I do want that he or she is smart and stays calm. I also want someone that I can fully 100% trust. So now everything is clear, let me explain what type of crime I want to commit. I want to rob the Louvre museum again. I want to steal al different kinds of paintings, jewelry, sculptures... So if someone is interested in having some fun and getting rich, please do let me know in the next 2 weeks so I can start planning already. Jean Pierre

  I’m looking for a partner for my operation: ‘The dog is gone’. This partner needs to be able to pick a lock, be quiet and be animal friendly. To start, I want to make clear that I’m the one leading this operation. This means that, if you want to join, you need to obey my orders. My neighbor has an adorable dog, and I think that he is more happy with me than he is with my neighbor. Operation ‘The dog is gone’ goes into action the first of July. This is the day that my neighbor leaves on vacation. When he leaves, we will take action. At 2 a.m. we will sneak up to the house. This is the moment when you take action and unlock the door. Then we sneak in. I bring snacks with me, and I will lure the dog to us. We pick him up and we run back to my house. If you are interested in this operation, please give a call.

What’s up guys? My name is the Kirkinator. I am a sweet guy, but can also be very mean. The people in the neighborhood where I lived, used to always bully me and abuse me. At that time where I needed someone the most nobody came to help me. That’s why I want to kill them all. But I can’t do it alone. That’s why I’m looking for a partner in crime. But my partner needs to be a woman, a pretty one actually. Not just any pretty lady, but a very strong and muscular woman(especially the legs). If you think you fit the criteria, you can send me some pictures to this number: “911”. Together we will be unstoppable, and we will share lots of great memories together if you know what I mean. After we kill and torture them all, we will sell their organs on the dark web and get rich. If you fit the criteria, make sure to join me. See you later alligator.

 Hi there! I’m Mia, and I’m looking for a partner to help a driven and ambitious girl out. I need a man I can truly count on—someone patient, strong, and preferably with a military background. I need a partner who knows how to handle himself and is comfortable with weapons. I’m looking for someone I can trust with my life. My plan is to target a few 'suits' and take back some incredibly valuable economic plans. These documents are worth a literal fortune on the black market—more than enough for us to retire forever on a golden beach.

Hello, my name is The Butcher. I call myself this because that is my way of committing my crime. I am a tall woman with black hair and a big scar that goes through my left eye. Now imagine yourself a criminal that is not careful with committing his/her crime and gets arrested. If you would not want that, you’re in the right place. Being careful is one of my top priorities. After committing a crime, I clean everything up so that I won’t get caught. I also have fantastic driving skills. I drive fast and good so the police would never catch up with me. Though I am someone that gets stressed out vert fast when leaving my crime, because who knows you might have forgotten to clean something up. Now you may be wondering what crime I want to commit. Well, I want to commit a murder. Not just a simple murder, I want to kidnap them saw them in pieces, just how real butchers do. Isn’t that exciting? Of course I won’t be doing this alone, I am looking who is strong, someone who has a lot of patienc...

Hi, my name is Jules, and I’m looking for someone who would like to be my partner in crime. For myself, I would say I’m pretty strong. I’m also loyal if you are, and I will respect you if you could help me, because I’m planning to kill someone. If you would like to be my partner, I’m looking for a smart person who can help me out when I can’t see a solution. I would also like a loyal partner and a good fighter, because we must be able to trust each other, and it will be possible for us to get into a fight with someone else. If this is you, help me out and become my partner. Now that you’ve come so far, I’ll tell you a bit more about myself. You already know that I’m pretty strong, I often use that strength when people mess with my friends, because I don’t play about my friends. I have straight blonde hair and green eyes, a surprisingly good combination, even if I say so myself. One last thing, if you always think you know something better than someone else, I do not want you to be my p...

Hey, I’m Jimmy. I am a tall guy with brown hair. People also say I look scary. But the thing is, I LOVE cookies! My neighbour is a classy, grumpy old lady and she makes the most amazing cookies. But unfortunately she doesn’t give us any cookies anymore, because she’s mad at us for being too loud and irritating. So I want to steal them, and am searching for a partner in crime. I want someone who is smart, reckless and loves cookies as much as I do. I myself am very shy and clumsy but I do love jokes. We will split the earnings even. So if you are interested we will create a master plan.

What’s up, I’m King Vonn, the perfect criminal. You can recognize me by my brown hair, blue eyes and my athletic body. I mainly wear a black hoodie, cargo pants and exactly 3 golden chains. In a few months, I will blow up the White House and steal all the valuable items from there. Of course, I can’t do this alone. I’m looking for a partner who can resist my stubbornness, be very precise to snipe the US president, be very sneaky and be very social like me. I can get angry fast but that would be very handy in this situation. When I’m angry, I destroy everything in my path and the goal of this crime is to destroy the White House. You can clearly see that I have all the skills a professional criminal should have. All I’m asking for is a partner who can share in my glory. Let’s get rich together! King Vonn

Greetings everyone, I’m Bill Smith. I was born and raised in London, and I am a explosives manufacturer for the British military I have an engineering degree and a license for the use of hand weapons. I’m 28 years old, about average height, muscular, calm, and brave. I’m an experienced martial artist and have served 7 years in the military. I’m looking for a partner that’s reliable, strong, experienced in using firearms, intelligent, likes to get the job done and hates corrupt people in our society like warlords, politics, etc. If you checked out on all the criteria you have earned this job and may join me to end the corrupt people in our world. Bill Smith

Hello, I’m Piper Locks and I’m looking for a partner in crime. I myself am pretty athletic, so I can run for a long time if needed. I absolutely LOVE engineering and machines. It’s just so interesting and every machine has its unique features. This week I’m trying to rob the bank. If you’re interested, good, keep reading. You have to be a fast runner, so if we get caught, we can escape without a single problem. You’ll have to be good with locks, because most doors will be locked. I can drive pretty well myself but if I for example got shot in the leg, you should be able to replace me. Let’s rob this bank and get all the money! Let me know if you’re interested. Piper Locks

Hello, I’m Jennifer Larsen and I will be the queen of murder. I give you a little bit information about myself for who you can work with. So I’m Jennifer I have long black hair and beautiful green eyes. I’m a short person like 159,6 meters. A lot of people calls me kind and peaceful. I describe myself more as smart and mysterious person. I search a person ,who can first of all drive. That’s important skill in a dangerous situation with a lot of police. Then I need someone who can shoot very precisely. You have to be a specialisation of ICT. Can you help me with rule of the darkside to earn money? Jennifer Larsen

Hello, My name is Ronaldo. I really want someone to rob a bank with so that we can be rich without working. I am not so smart so you have to be clever so we can make a great plan for the robbery. You also need to drive a car because I am too stupid for that. I am not smart but I am really funny so you will not get bored of my fast. I am also really short so I can hide myself really good. And it's a plus if you're strong because how stronger you are you more money we can carry.

Hi, I’m KillerKid and I want to get rich. My family has been hating me because I’m powerless, tiny and gay. I want to change that, they must pay for what they have done to mee. I want vengeance. That’s why I need someone, not my sugardaddy but my killerdaddy. This person needs to be strong but also kind so that no one suspects anything. The plan is to kill my whole family and inherit everything. My partner also gets a part of the profits of course. The last thing I’m searching for in a partner is someone that can drive. The bodies will need to be moved and dumped with discretion, for this I need a car and someone that can drive it. If I find a partner, I can get rich and get justice. Please help me. KillerKid

 Looking for a partner who can sell meth (not a crackhead). My name is Walter White a.k.a. “Heisenberg”. I’m 52 years old and I’m dying of cancer, so the length of your contract is going to be 2-3 years. I have an underpaid job as a chemistry teacher in high school. I have a loving wife and a handicap child. I like to draw and cook some good meth. I’m a great cook actually! So I’m looking for a partner who can sell the product I make. My las partner was not that great, he wasn’t there when I needed him the most. Apparently doing heroine was much important to him than making millions of dollars. Did I say I was a great cook? I make meth that is 99% pure, so we are going to sell meth the double price. You’ll get the 30% of the sold meth. I’m looking for a partner who has experience in selling illegal drugs. It would be great if you have a business degree. Someone who cares only about money and me. You’ll have to look good, so the buyers would trust and like you to buy more meth.

Hey, did you hear about the bank that was robbed yesterday? That was me, I am the Smart runner. I call myself that because I can run really fast and I am also very intelligent. As I was robbing the bank yesterday, I realized that I really need a partner in crime because I almost got caught . I just got enough time to run away. I ‘d like to have a partner, male or female, in his/her 20’s who I can rely on. She/he has to be strong and smart. But also very fast so that we can run away if we might ever get caught. I need this partner because I am about to commit another crime. Soon I’ll be robbing a jewelry store. And the problem is that it has a lot of security guards and security cameras. That’s why I need to be sure that my partner is strong enough to fight the guards for when one of us gets caught. After robbing the store, we need to run so we can be out of sight as fast as possible. The Smart runner

Hi, I’m Hannah. I currently have a boyfriend, who I’ve been in a relationship with for a couple of months. When I went to his house, it quickly became obvious that his family is very rich. They’ve got a gigantic house with tons of furniture, like a big swimming pool, money and surprisingly, also a stocking of countless drugs. He told me that his older brother is a successful dealer. His parents and siblings will be going on a long trip to Africa this summer, without him, because he prefers to spend his time with me and he has a camp. When I’m staying at his house, I want to kill him and steal his parents’ money and his brother’s drugs. But this plan sounds way more appealing if I wouldn’t have to do it on my own. I’m in need for a partner in crime. I’m searching for preferably a woman, who is in her late teenage years and isn’t scared of committing various dangerous crimes. I need to be able to rely on her, which means she has to follow my instructions. If you’re interested, hit me up!...

 A dangerous restaurant date Hi, my name is Bill Kill. If you are looking for someone with a passion for rock music, I’m your man! I have to say, I am a little bit clumsy but never boring. You can recognize me by my purple clothes and brown hair. If you want to spend time with me, you have to be at least funny and dangerous. On our first date we could go to my favorite restaurant. The food there is delicious! But once I killed a family there because they sat on my favorite table and they didn’t want to leave. So if the owners recognize me, we have to run really fast. Hopefully I didn’t scare you off because I have the ambitions to kill more people with you on my side.

My name is Granny Lucy. I love travelling, but not alone. I’m looking for a man who wants to come with me. But first I have to make the house from my dother in Spain my house. The plan is to kill her, so I need some help! I’m 65 years old and I’m 1,50 m tall. I have gray curly hair. Also I’m very strong and can run fast. But I can’t ride a car. So if you are really strong but look like a sweet little grandfather, can drive a car, want to go on a vacation to Spain for the rest of your live and you are 60-68 years old, please tekst me because you will be perfect for my murder plan. So don’t be afraid of some blood and help me kill my dother so I can live in Spain! Granny Lucy

I’m Alia, a woman who just turned 24 an is looking for a new partner in crime due to my previous incompetent partner. When my new ally and I meet up, they will be able to recognize me by my dark curly hair or by the fact that I am missing my left arm. I also have a scar on the back of my neck, but it’s covered by my hair most of the time. My partner has to respect my privacy and can’t ask questions about my personal life or the reason of how I got the ugly thing on my neck. Even if I say so myself, I am pretty good with guns and explosives (except for that one time…). That’s why I would like to blow up a building with the help of my new accomplice. The only rule is that there can’t be children inside, because I adore them too much. So my ideal partner is someone who isn’t too dramatic or over the age of 30. Together we will choose a building that’s preferably full of stupid people and blow it up. If this sounds like it could be your cup of tea, then call me on the following number: 235...